Beat down

A ‘beat down’ is a real part of the thug life. I work in a state prison. It not uncommon to hear of a beat down. It is hard to survive in a prison if you are not affiliated with a group. A man, especially a young man, can come into prison as a loner but it is near to impossible to ‘do your time’ without help. Because of that it is not uncommon to see a new inmate who has been beat down into a group or because he wouldn’t join a group.

Incarcerated inside razor wire and tall fences is a life most want no part of. I’ve noticed how fences are constructed with material so those incarcerated can see out but near impossible to get out. It adds to the mental side of a beat down. Beat downs happen all too frequent in prison. 

I’ve also learned in my life there are ‘beat downs’ for those who are not incarcerated in prison. Many feel incarcerated or imprisoned within the world we live. Those outside prison walls and fences can feel confined. 

Daily we are beat down with the pressures of life, the stress of meeting obligations, the torment of physical ailments, the unrealistic demands others place on you. There are the anxious expectations of deliverance, even divine deliverance. You wait for God to intervene and bless you with all that you hope for. 

Because God’s timing is different from ours, we sink into a mode where we feel like we have been beat down. Where are you at God? Why I am still dealing with all these stressors? Why haven’t you acted? Am I not doing what I’m supposed to do? Surely I fail but it is because I am trying. 

I try to depend on the Holy Spirit! I try to follow Your truth! Yet where is the light at the end of the tunnel. Certainly I am to honor and glorify You through the trials and beat downs of being incarcerated in this life. It is my intention to honor You. But where are You? What are you doing? How long must I wait? 

In the meanwhile life continues it’s gradual decline. Happiness is manufactured by me rather than experienced from You. If I believed You were not then I could go a different route. But I believe You are! I believe You love. I believe You hurt when we hurt. I believe You want to help. Love is not what You do. It is who you are! 

How many more times will a beat down be experienced before I am “maxed out” of this prison?

Until next time,

Hoss

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About Hoss

Married w/ 1 daughter & 3 step-children . Ordained minister. I do supply preaching every opportunity I get. Currently employed in a state prison system. Wife & I own a flower shop in a nearby city. I am approaching my late 50's, although I certainly don't look like it.
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