Want to be friends? (sub-title) Sorry Sheila

I was the ‘average’ student in school. You have those who were really popular, really smart, and really active in school activities. Not me. Because of home conditions, I didn’t have friends over nor was allowed to take part in school sports. It was a real bummer. It made having school friends hard. So I had to find ways to make friends.

I did things like give classmates a ride to school, or try my hand at being a comic or the wittiest guy in class. Not sure how those worked. I doubt very much if any of my classmates would even remember me.

I liked having classmates ride to school with me. There was one morning when it snowed on the way to school. It wasn’t until I got to school that I was told school was canceled.

Therefore my brother and I headed back home. I had one other passenger who was sprawled out in the back of my volkswagen fast back. We were headed back and reached Valley Falls where I was supposed to stop and let him out. I forgot.

When He yelled, I slammed on brakes! Remember me telling you it was snowing? I was headed downhill toward a very narrow bridge. The volkswagen lost traction. We were headed towards the embankment and into the water below. One of the problems with my volkswagen fastback was the rear door hatch was broken and would not latch. It came flying up, we were spinning around, and my rider was holding on for dear life to keep from being thrown out the back!

I don’t know if my rider ever found religion, (so to speak) but that was a good opportunity for him.

The other thing I did in making friends was to always have a stock of chewing gum. My dad ran a store were it was sold and I could get it wholesale. I made some friends just by having a stick of gum. However, things did not always go well there either.

At this point let me say to Sheila F., I’m sorry girl. Things happen. Turns out she wanted some gum. I have gotten a brand new box I was going to try. Before I could,Sheila asked for some. The little pieces were so small I gave her two. I had to sneak them to her cause of the teachers did not want you chewing gum in their class.

Very soon after I was going to try a couple of pieces when it occurred to me it wasn’t gum. Have any of you noticed how similar Clorets [gum] looks compared to Feen-O-Ments [laxatives]?

It didn’t take long before Sheila headed home. She graduated and went on to play college basketball I believe. Never told her about the ‘gum.’

Y’all want to be friends?

Until next time,


PS. Here is the bridge.


About Hoss

Married w/ 1 daughter & 3 step-children . Ordained minister. I do supply preaching every opportunity I get. Currently employed in a state prison system. Wife & I own a flower shop in a nearby city. I am approaching my late 50's, although I certainly don't look like it.
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