When the time of my life is over

This is a deeply personal blog. I am challenging myself to be transparent. I’m opening myself up for criticism. With all that in mind, perhaps good can come from it. Trusting God.

Throughout my life from early childhood to the present I have moments of intense dread at the thought of dying. I can remember waking up at night terrorized at the fear of dying. There were times I wasn’t able to go to sleep. I learned to re-focus my thoughts. I would try to think of other things.

With all that I have done, I’ve yet to rid myself of the occasional anxiety that overwhelms me. There is sin in fearing death. It’s a conviction I have lived with since studying the Bible.

All the descriptions of heaven leave no question it has to be a better place than this wicked world we live in. Yet, the end of certain earthly experiences saddens me. Separation from friends and family is not something I look forward too.

Being a bible student I know I’m not to love this world more than God. It is sin.

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1 John 2:15 NASB)

I have been able to control my anxiety with scripture and reminding myself what my relationship with Jesus means. I also know that the worlds definition of death is the stoppage of life on earth when the biblical definition of death is complete separation from God.

I fear, as the time of my life gets closer to the end, my terror will increase. Because of this I’ve wondered about “dying grace.” what do people mean by that? Could it be more than the grace to deal with physical pain that can be associated with death?

Could ‘dying grace’ also be spiritual peace of mind? Could it be that God will pour His grace upon me and others like me who dread death?

According to my studies of the bible I believe:
1. Christians do not actually die but go through the valley of the shadow of death.
2. Death is separation from God which the Christian really never does experience.
3. Just as the poor man Lazarus was carried into the bosom of Abraham, so also do I believe all who die in Christ are carried by angels. God is no respect or of persons.
4. Heaven is where Jesus is. I want to see Him.
5. Heaven has got to be a better place than here.
6. And there is so much more.

So why the occasional fight with the fear of dying? Satan’s attack?

Am I alone in this battle?

When the time of my life is over

Until next time,



About Hoss

Married w/ 1 daughter & 3 step-children . Ordained minister. I do supply preaching every opportunity I get. Currently employed in a state prison system. Wife & I own a flower shop in a nearby city. I am approaching my late 50's, although I certainly don't look like it.
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One Response to When the time of my life is over

  1. doughie says:

    I dont think you are alone in this, i think we all fear leaving our loved ones here to go to another place, some of those loved ones will be there waiting…………… some wont, that is the worry for me

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