Unseen Tears

My wife and I have spoken more than once on the subject of people wearing masks. This is not a reference to store bought facial coverings or self applied facial makeup. This is about the facade (outter appearance) people apply when dealing with life issues. It can be anything from pouting to a stern penetrating facial expression.

When Christy and I talk about mine we both know it’s the mask of humor. Humor doesn’t help all the time but it can much of the time. Those life experiences that bring deep distress can be eased with humor but seldom is it enough to really deal it. Anger, bitterness and grave hurt demand more than the psychological “mask” to cope.

I’m not so naive to think I’m able to handle all life throws my way all by myself. I need my wife and we need God. Call Him a crutch, or whatever, truth remains I need Him.

This weekend has made that all too real. The constant stream of laziness and multiple choices that flashes “stupidity” from close family members tears at the soul. Ours, anyway.

The culmination of recent events struck me with a inner hurt. I can’t describe it. I can’t explain it but I can certainly feel it. It draws the shedding of tears on my insides. I wish to be able to shed tears outwardly but can’t. It frustrates me. I long for them so. In fact, it is not uncommon for my eyes to water as I drive to work each morning. I long for tears so much that I refuse to wipe these away. I focus on how they feel dripping down my puffed cheeks. (mask of humor employed).

I have learned a child doesn’t have to be your biological offspring to hurt your soul. The hurt placed on a soulmate from their offspring hurts as well. However, when your own child makes harmful choices and potentially dangerous decisions, then it is no wonder my soul aches.

Perhaps this reading is true to my description of my blogs. Many it does sound like random thoughts. Maybe it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Or even any sense. This one thing I know. The tears unseen flowing within your soul require more than the world’s remedies. I need God.

When tragedy appears and tribulations arise, some people cry, others get angry while others get quiet. It has been said, “You are either headed into trouble, in the midst of trouble, or just coming out from troubles.” Whatever mask you wear, however you choose to deal with them, I assure you some troubles will demand divine intervention. My admonishment to you…Let God in.

Until next time,

Hoss

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About Hoss

Married w/ 1 daughter & 3 step-children . Ordained minister. I do supply preaching every opportunity I get. Currently employed in a state prison system. Wife & I own a flower shop in a nearby city. I am approaching my late 50's, although I certainly don't look like it.
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